Hand-to-heart

Mother's day is always a bittersweet day for me; this one is no exception.  All last week i couldn't shake it.  It was like i was Eeyore.  No matter what i did or tried to do - i couldn't shake the little grey dark cloud that seemed to stay with me following me around from here to there.  Everywhere... 

And finally it hit me.  Literally.  I was driving.  The music was loud.  My sun-roof open.  Windows rolled down.  I was enjoying the feel of the wind against my skin about to make a left turn when I saw something or someone who reminded me of my mother and i just lost it...

I immediately start to talk myself down.  It doesn't help.  Didn't help.  Never helps. But still, i try.  Hand-to-heart i try:

 I know it's been soooo long.  I knoooow you've been really good.  I know you just miss her.  I know it's been forever since you've seen her and you just want to see her...sigh...forever's a mighty long time i remind myself...keep going...

I remember meeting forever when i joined 'the club' 5 years ago.  In honor of my sweet mother,  i dedicate this entry to her and all the other mother's i know.  It is with deep gratitude and appreciation that i say thank you because there's another 'forever club' - i had the privilege of joining it 4 years ago...

Motherhood is a club.

Once you're inducted your membership lasts forever.

In accepting the responsibility of motherhood

we are all forced to acknowledge our place in the circle of life

and in doing so pay tribute to our elders, who came before us

and helped create and shape the path we now walk.

Today,  this Mother's day, take time to celebrate

and honor

the people you love.

Express something essential

and illuminate those things

that give life meaning.

 These acts honor the individual

 and at the very center celebrate the moments that create who we are.

Hand-to-heart...

For me, no matter what I say or what I do, the truth.
...i just  really, really, really miss my mother.

Until next time...